The BBC has announced the death of Towser, the record-breaking resident of the Grouse Glenturret distillery.
A replacement is being sought for the cat, who holds the world record for catching 30,000 mice over his lifetime. Distillery bosses have consulted feline charities as well as a cat pyschologist, as they know Towser will be tough to replace.
In other news, Manchester Met University are holding a conference to discuss the socio-cultural impact of The Smiths. The bands’ 1986 song I Know It’s Over was once voted the best song to listen to when feeling depressed.
- Binge drinking and driving while drunk is dangerous. No shit.
- Musty smelling, flightless parrot gets laid. Polly wants a cracker!